1. Produce
a Summary. No instruction required. Do what you think should be done.
First Draft:
At
the beginning, two different types of E. coli are identified. Most E. coli
bacteria is helpful for the body, but another version called E. coli 0157:H7 is
actually harmful for humans. Most of the time, people who get this version of
E. coli either have no symptoms or have mild signs, but there are some that get
anemia and have strokes. Five percent of children who get (HUS) from E. coli
0157:H7 die from it, while many others just have permanent disabilities. There
is a case where one six-year-old child dies from it. Before his death, he had
extremely painful abdominal cramps and bloody diarrhea. He couldn’t breathe on
his own and his brain was liquefied. Even healthy adults can be susceptible to
E. coli 0157:H7, and antibiotics have proven to be ineffective against fighting
the bacteria. E. coli 0157:H7 can live in both high and low temperatures and
can live for days or even weeks. E. coli 0157:H7 is caught by drinking
contaminated water, eating undercooked ground beef, and person-to-person
transmission. The reason the bacteria is now so easily spread is because of new
changes in how cattle are raised, slaughtered, processed, and consumed.
2.
Revise
your summary to produce one that is analytically strong.
Do this by
consistently integrating the speaker’s name followed by strong verbs, including
strong, connotative verbs in other areas of the summary as well, applying
appropriate—non-vacuous—adjectives and adverbs that truly demonstrate a deeper
understanding of the text. Also, try to include chronological discourse markers
and at least one appositive or non-essential phrase or clause within your
summary.
Edited Draft:
Schlosser
begins arguing for more regulations in
the meat packing industry by describing the potential positive and
negative effects of E. coli. Most E. coli bacteria is helpful for basic human functions, but a mutated version, called E. coli
0157:H7, is actually harmful for humans when
consumed. Schlosser then follows this by revealing that often people
who contract this version of E. coli
are either asymptomatic or have relatively mild signs; however, there are an unlucky few who suffer from conditions such as anemia, the destruction of vital organs, and strokes. Schlosser exemplifies this when highlighting
that about five percent of children
who contract hemolytic uremic
syndrome from E. coli 0157:H7 die from it, and those who survive may suffer from permanent disabilities. Schlosser
then shifts from describing the broad effects of this bacteria to
narrating a tragic case of one six-year-old child who died from it. Before
his death, he contracted viciously
painful abdominal cramps and bloody diarrhea. He couldn’t breathe on his own
and his brain was liquefied. Schlosser then unnervingly exposes that even perfectly healthy adults can be
susceptible to E. coli 0157:H7, and that antibiotics have proven to be
ineffective against fighting the bacteria. E. coli 0157:H7 can withstand both high and low temperatures
and can survive in numerous
environments for days or even weeks. Continuing, Schlosser highlights
that transmission of E. coli 0157:H7 can occur by drinking contaminated water, consuming undercooked ground beef, and
engaging in person-to-person contact. Finally, Schlosser blames the newfound negligence in the meatpacking
industry for the increased outbreaks
of food poisoning in the United States.
3. Revise
your already strong summary by integrating—and properly citing—appropriate textual
evidence that seamlessly flows with your own words.
Final
Draft:
Schlosser
begins
arguing for more regulations in the meat packing industry by describing
the potential the potential positive and negative effects of E. coli. Most E. coli
bacteria is helpful for basic human functions, but a mutated version called E.
coli 0157:H7 is actually harmful for humans when consumed, as it “can release […] powerful
toxin[s]” that attack “the lining of the intestine” (Schlosser 199). Schlosser
then follows this by revealing that often people who contract this version
of E. coli are either asymptomatic or have relatively mild signs and symptoms;
however, there are an unlucky few who suffer from conditions such as anemia, “the
destruction of vital organs” and strokes (Schlosser). Schlosser exemplifies this when highlighting
that about five percent of children who contract hemolytic uremic syndrome from
E. coli 0157:H7 die from it, and those who survive may suffer from
“permanent disabilities, such as blindness or brain damage” (Schlosser 200).
Schlosser then shifts from describing the broad effects of this bacteria to
narrating a tragic case of one six year old child who died from it. Before his
death, he contracted viciously painful abdominal cramps and diarrhea that “filled
a hospital toilet with blood” (Schlosser 200). He couldn’t breathe on
his own and his brain was liquefied, resulting in “his [horrifying] death”
(Schlosser 200). Schlosser then unnervingly exposes that even
perfectly healthy adults can be susceptible to E. coli 0157:H7, and that
antibiotics have proven to be ineffective against fighting the bacteria. E.
coli 0157:H7 “is an extraordinarily hearty microbe”, and can withstand both
high and low temperatures in numerous environments for days or even weeks (Schlosser
200). Continuing, Schlosser highlights that transmission of E.
coli 0157:H7 can occur by drinking contaminated water, consuming undercooked
ground beef, and engaging in person-to-person contact. It’s also noted that an
individual doesn’t even need to consume “a fairly large dose” to be infected
(Schlosser
201). Finally, Schlosser blames the newfound negligence in the
meatpacking industry for the increased outbreaks of food poisoning in the
United States.
A
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Authorial Statement
and Organizational Stems
Beginning of Text
·
(Speaker/Author)
begins by/with…
Body of Text
·
(Speaker/Author)
follows this by/with…
·
Following
this, (Speaker/Author) (action verb)…
·
Moving
on, (Speaker/Author) (action verb) (Speaker/Author) transitions to…
·
In
order to transition, (Speaker/Author) (action verb)…
·
(Speaker/Author)
then shifts to…
·
(Speaker/Author)
moves to compare…
·
(Speaker/Author)
then contrasts…
·
(Speaker/Author)
exemplifies…
·
Continuing,
(Speaker/Author) (verb)…
Conclusion of text
·
(Speaker/Author)
concludes by/with…
·
Finally,
(Speaker/Author) (verb/reminds)…
Analytical Addition (at the end of
every authorial move)
·
…in
order to…
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